How to trust yourself (and show up for your business)

Trusting yourself isn’t an overnight transformation

Figuring out how to trust yourself is a gradual process…

Way back in 2014 I moved to Buenos Aires, Argentina. I had a backpack, the dusty memories of my GCSE Spanish and a six-month plan to intern in a country where I didn’t even know a single soul.

I’ll never forget waiting to board my plane and hearing the Argentinians around me talking at a million miles per hour in a language that sounded nothing like what I’d read about in my textbooks. Talk about intimidating.

I had no idea how I was going to get through the months ahead.

It started small. I learnt how to order a coffee. Then… a simple snack. Next, I learnt how to order a meal.

After that, I practised talking to a stranger and having a short conversation. Later, I tried a longer conversation. And then another. And another.

Five months later, my boss sent me to represent her at a meeting with an international company. I was the only non-native speaker in the room. And I got through it, I did it. I even asked some questions and joined in a discussion or two.

12 months later I was back in Argentina, interviewing charities and political bodies for my Masters’ thesis. I conducted every interview in Spanish, something that 18 months prior would’ve seemed like a ludicrous idea.

But that thesis ended up being my favourite part of my degree.

All because I started. It started with ordering a coffee and grew into something so much beginner. Because, sometimes, you’ve just got to begin. 

If I’d tried to do all those things at the beginning, I’d have run a mile (and jumped on the first plane back home).

But I didn’t.

It was a case of little by little, slowly does it… *insert all the cliché slow and steady wins the race quotes here*

You get the idea.

When you’re doing something that scares you, break it down into smaller more manageable chunks. You’ll find it makes the next step a lot easier. And you’ll learn how to trust yourself.

If you don’t trust yourself, prove yourself wrong

It helps to create an evidence folder, something you can refer to when self-doubt strikes.

Most small business owners love the sunshine folder technique. The premise is simple. All you have to do is save all those lovely reviews and feedback messages you get and revisit them later. When your self-trust is low, prove yourself wrong with evidence to show that you are capable.

But you can also remember the not-so-Instagrammable moments. The times you conquered what felt like a mountain to you. Whether that’s your first IG live (my own personal mountain), your first newsletter, your first client project or your first sale…

Show yourself that you can do hard things and that – really – they’re not as scary as you tend to think.

Remember why you’re doing it

Showing up is a lot easier when you can see why it makes sense.

When you know that email list will help you grow a business that supports your lifestyle. When you know that magazine pitch will help you reach new dreamy clients and customers. When you know raising your prices will help you work more sustainably.

So, remind yourself of that “why” each time you get started.

And if you cant’ find it… don’t do it.

That brings me onto…

Don’t show up

You don’t have to do that tricky thing if you don’t want to.

If it’s causing you to feel totally stuck, drop it and move on. Readjust things or tweak your business strategy a little and try a different approach instead. It might just be that your lack of self-trust is a warning sign that this isn’t the right step for you.

It’s okay to say “no” sometimes, even if that “no” is to the pressure that you’re putting on yourself.